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Who is in Your Network? How to Navigate “Cold” Networking

Estimated reading time ~ 6 min
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Two women having a coffee chat (CC: Google images)

When most people consider who is in their network, they tend to think of their immediate connections — friends, family members, and colleagues past and present. Our networks, however, go far beyond the people we can name off the top of our heads. There is the person in your class with whom you collaborated on a final project, not to mention that friend-of-a-friend you met at happy hour who shared their professional goals with you. It might be intimidating to reach out to someone you don’t personally know but many more people are willing to help you out than you think — as long as you do the work.

People coming from underrepresented groups can often be more alienated from circles of power with top-of-mind connections, so cultivating their networks where they already are is even more important. Issa Rae highlights the idea that networking “across” is just as, if not more, important than always looking up. Even if your ask is small, you’ll likely have a much better chance of getting it answered by people closer to your professional level. Whether you’re separated by two, or five, degrees of connection from a potential contact, here are some ways to get started.

Get the Right Approach

Your method of contact is just as important as what you say. Before you send your message, consider how you will approach them. The more distant the connection, the more formal the approach should be. Here are some recommended guidelines:

Email (formal): Generally, email is best for someone you have met once or someone from class you never talked to. If the person is someone you’ve only met once, it might help to refresh their memory of where you know them from — don’t be offended if they don’t remember you (professionals are very busy!)

Social media (informal): Social media outreach is great for someone you already have as a friend, and who you have mutual friends with! A direct message explaining that you’d like their help is great, then you can ask for that person’s contact info to carry the conversation further.

LinkedIn (formal/informal): This is the purpose of LinkedIn! If you have seen this person around, or if you have only talked to this person about something unrelated to career interest, a LinkedIn message will inform the person of the topic of your message. Try asking for help in multiple messages, don’t send everything in one bulk message — make sure they reply and have seen your message.

Be Direct

When it comes to contacting a distant connection whom you may not have the closest relationship with, always to make the ask early and upfront. Don't reach out with only your ask in mind, always make it worthwhile for the other person.

When meeting someone at an event or via social media, try to add them on LinkedIn within three days and send an informal message when requesting. Reference where you met, something specific they said, and how you're eager to continue the connection or conversation. This makes it easier if or when you reach out to them about an opportunity.

On the other hand, if you have absolutely no connection to the person at all and have found their information on a website, do whatever research you can of the hiring manager. That can mean pulling up their LinkedIn, if possible, to see if they wrote any articles on the internet or recently attended a conference. Then reference that in your message to them — what your enjoyed about it, how you hope to see them speak in person, etc. — and go from there. After tying in those factors, then make the ask!

In this same vein, be clear about your intention. You don’t want to immediately ask for something, but taking too long to cut to the chase can be misleading or seem like a waste of their time. Instead of beating around the bush about why you are contacting them, you can say something like:

Hi (name),

(Insert how you're connected). I hope you’ve been doing well since we last talked. I heard you had a great time on vacation and your trip sounded really fun. I’m reaching out because I saw on LinkedIn that you work at (insert company), specifically in the People Operations department. I am interested in applying for the open position on your team but have a few questions that I’d love to ask you about the company and job first.

Hope to chat soon

You can finesse this kind of script to your liking, but it hits the main areas: acknowledges your mutual friend/connection, gives the other person a reminder and context of what you discussed when you met, and then swiftly — but not rudely — goes into your ask.

Do Your Part and Be Available

You may have a friend or former colleague in common, but the person you are contacting doesn’t owe you anything. Remember that you are asking for their help and do your due diligence in advance. Don’t ask them to give you an entire rundown of the organization, the company, or other things that you can easily find yourself. You might have specific questions following up on details you have discovered, but this person should not be your first point of research and discovery.

Depending on the nature of your ask, it might be easier for the other person to reply over the phone rather than email. In some cases, they may agree to an in-person meeting. Regardless of how you connect, make sure the conversation happens at a time convenient for them in whatever format of communication works best for that person. Don’t make them chase you down to help with a request you made.

One way of going about it is to suggest specific dates and times so that all the other person has to do is check their calendar and see if that spot is open:

Hi (name), Thanks so much for your time! I read through the responsibilities of the job description and noticed that one is the “ability to build out reports using SQL.” Is this something you were trained in before you started at the company? I have never used this reporting tool and wanted to know what the learning curve might be and the expectations are in practice. Do you have time to talk in the next week? If so, how about Wednesday, June 5 or Friday, June 7, any time between noon and 4 pm? I’m also free that weekend, if that’s easier — let me know what might work for you.

Say, “Thank you!”

Your “cold” connection can’t guarantee you anything; they are simply a resource to help you help yourself. So, whether an opportunity panned out or not, no matter how small their effort, you definitely want to thank them for their time. Your relationship history with this person is limited, so you want to ensure that the few exchanges they’ve had with you are pleasant. If you needed their help now, it is possible you might need it later (or even the other way around!) so be sure to acknowledge what they did, tell them the outcome, and see if they would like to stay in touch.

Hey (name), I just wanted to reach out and thank you for helping me out! I didn’t get the role, but it was wonderful getting to know the team and I will definitely keep an eye out for other roles at the company. Hope to see you around soon!

Informational meetings

Never ask to “pick someone’s brain.” There are quite a few articles out there on why not to use that phrase and how you may be perceived when you’re essentially asking someone to instill the knowledge they’ve worked hard to build. Think of how you’d like to be approached by someone who looks up to you and act accordingly. When setting up informational meetings, make sure that the person you're reaching out to knows that you are being extremely conscious of their time and resources. For example, if asking for a coffee chat, pose it as “happy to treat you to coffee for a quick 30-minute conversation on XYZ,” because it lets them know that you value their time and are willing to pay for the gems that may be dropped during the meeting. If you know someone is extremely busy, then call that out in your messaging as well — let them know that while you wouldd love to meet in person, you are conscious of their time and would appreciate a 15-minute phone call or email correspondence. When you’re asking for a favor on behalf of someone else, be conscious, courteous, and appreciative. A little goes a long way when it comes to cold outreach and you never know how those little gestures will make a lasting impression on the connection you’re trying to make.

Written by Jopwell team members: Via Abreu and Tiara Budd

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