The Unwritten Rules Of Getting Ahead In College

College education is the great equalizer, right? This is a part of the American Dream narrative: get good grades, get into a good college, get a good job, and have a good life. But as we know, this narrative is part truth and part myth.

College is a game. Those who know the rules typically do better academically, socially, and professionally.

As a college professor, I’ve seen it time and time again: Not all students come to college knowing how to play the game, especially many first-generation students, who overwhelmingly happen to be black and brown.

I was also a first-generation black college student who didn’t know how to play the game. I thought just going to college was enough to make me “successful.” I didn’t know that many of my white and non-first-generation counterparts developed genuine relationships with their professors and college administrators through conversations over coffee, getting invited to special events, and even babysitting their children to strategically develop a network of contacts for post-graduation. All the while, I thought college was just about grades. Grades are important, but, I learned, so are the relationships and activities that happen outside the classroom.

Why didn’t I know about this game? Probably because my parents didn’t know about it either. They saw those at their jobs with college degrees in management positions with higher salaries, and equated their success with the result of simply having a college degree — not with how they went to college. This “how” includes learning to apply information in the real world and life outside the classroom, from resident life to sports and volunteering.

I see many of my first-generation students making the same mistakes I did nearly 15 years ago. The good news: This is a game you can win if you know the rules.

The first set of rules covers the basics. These are necessary but not sufficient by themselves. The second set of rules include the real game changers.

The basics:

Rule #1: Go to class. Be early. Sit up-front. Listen.

Rule #2: Homework and projects: Do it and do it on time.

Rule #3: Study for comprehension, not memorization.

Rule #4: Be curious. If you are not curious, you are not asking questions, thus not getting a better understanding.

Game changers:

Rule no. 1: Join (or start!) an organization. Joining or starting an organization is an opportunity to network. It’ll also help you build your résumé. Show employers you did more than just go to class, but got involved, held a leadership position, raised money, did community service, and hosted events. Fun and résumé-worthy.

Rule no. 2: Attend events. Go to as many as your schedule will allow. Most campuses offer student-led events, visiting scholar presentations, lecture series, and even political rallies during campaign season. This will probably be the only time in your life where you will be surrounded by so much intellectually stimulating activity. This will be another opportunity to network, with everyone from the president to vice presidents to faculty members and staff. This is a great opportunity for you to get to know them and for them to get to know you — which could benefit you well beyond college.

Rule no. 3: Go to office hours. You might be intimidated by your professor or at least too shy to ask for any type of help, but trust me, professors appreciate seeing their students stopping by and showing that they care. Now, don’t just show up right before exam time or when your grade is south of a C. Make it a habit to visit them a few times a semester. The goal is not to develop relationships with every single professor, but a few in the classes that you’re genuinely interested in. Faculty are often very knowledgeable about job opportunities and graduate school opportunities, and most are willing to help a student they know and trust.

Rule no. 4: Volunteer with alumni affairs. The alumni affairs office is an untapped resource for many students. This is the office that has direct relationships with graduates who want to help the institution. So why not become a valued asset to this division of the college? You’ll get the potential opportunity to network with alumni, many of whom are leaders at their organization.You can make connections with movers and shakers who can serve as potential mentors, and they may even be able to connect you with job opportunities upon graduation.

Rule no. 5: Be known on campus. Being known on campus might sound a bit “high school-ish,” but I have a different definition. Be known for being an outstanding student. Be known for being reliable. Be known for being a leader. Be known for being able to inspire other students. In other words, build your brand as being a linchpin.

Rule no. 6: Ask to be mentored. In today’s rapidly changing world, having a mentor can mean the difference between spinning in circles or progressing forward with intention and confidence. Why do we think we can do it all by ourselves? We have been fed this false ideology that asking for help is for the weak. We naively believe in the rhetoric that we must pull ourselves up by our own bootstraps. We must shed this “I can do it by myself” mindset and admit that we all need help.

Is there more to this game? Of course, but my hope is that you can see that college is not just about grades but being intentional in how you go to college.